How to Be Happy in 14 Little Steps
Are you happy? The question seems simple enough. But when you really take the time to assess your level of happiness, you may find you're out of balance and you could be wondering how exactly you can fix it.
The truth of the matter is that a happier life means many things to different people. According to the 2016 Harris Poll Survey of American Happiness, only a third of Americans reported that they were, indeed, happy. And a General Social Survey identified what is called "happiness inequality" in the United States, which means that in our country levels of joy differ across racial, economic, and gender circumstance.
Though we all want to be more positive, very few of us know how to go about bringing more pleasure into our lives, while pushing aside our negative thoughts. Fortunately, if you follow these tips of how to be happy, you'll hopefully find that life satisfaction could be more in reach than you think.
Set boundaries.
If self-care is a priority for your overall happiness, it's important to give yourself permission to say 'no.' "Be diligent about your boundaries," advises Virginia Williamson, a Connecticut-based marriage and family therapist.
"It's easy to fall into a pattern of overextending ourselves, both personally and professionally, only to feel taken advantage of, run down, or resentful. Create limits for yourself and others, and be consistent about maintaining them. This sets the stage for happier relationships, which greatly impacts the quality of our lives."
A strategy to get the better hang of saying 'no,' and bringing happiness into your life? According to psychotherapist Laura Leinwand, instead of responding with immediate rejection, set a deadline—allowing yourself to become comfortable with whatever decision you make, while also honoring your relationships.
And while the concept of 'no' may at first seem a bit self-centered, Leinwand explains that "healthy boundaries and enables others to have clarity about what they can expect from you."
Use aromatherapy for self care.
Not only do essential oils, like lavender and peppermint, have a calming effect, but they also help to clear your mind when you're stressed.
"Aromatherapy is an excellent mood booster when you've hit a slump," offers Reiki Master healer and sex and relationship coach Cara Kovacs. "Citrus scents wake you up, lavender or ylang ylang can soothe, and warm scents like vanilla or clove can make you feel warm and safe. Keep essential oils by your desk or in your purse, she suggests.
To get started, put a few drops on your palms, rub them together, and gently waft them over your face. This simple ritual is both calming and elevating. Plus, it makes you pause and luxuriate in a moment.
"Appreciating the present is one of the best ways to feel lighter and happier," says Kovacs.
Recite affirmations to combat negative emotions.
"Affirmations are statements or propositions that are declared to be true," explains author Shawngela Pierce, who studies naturopathic medicine.
Regarding how they can make you happy, Pierce references a 2015 brain-imaging study published in the Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Journal, where scientists reviewed what happens in the brain when people practice self-affirmation. They found that participants who were affirmed showed increased activity in the region of the brain that processes self-worth and valuation.
One easy way to get in the daily habit of using affirmations is to come up with five aspirational sentences about yourself beginning with the words, "I am." For example, "I am living my best life," "I am loved," or "I am healthy." Then, repeat those statements aloud first thing in the morning and again before you go to sleep at night. This will boost your self-esteem and program your subconscious to think more positive thoughts.
Bring nature into your home.
Your spirit isn't the only thing that may be in need of a happiness makeover. Sprucing up your home and integrating more natural elements, like plants, wood, organic soy candles, or wallpaper covered with nature scenes, could be the key to greater health and happiness. Or, you know, you could just tune into decluttering queen Marie Kondo's show on Netflix to freshen up your home.
While you've got the design bug, be mindful of certain colors that are said to naturally make you happier. Color expert Sue Kim told Country Living that yellow, sky blue, violet, green, and sage, are shades known to give mood boosts.